What about becoming old at heart?

From Amy Ambrose, Executive Director, Milwaukee Aging Consortium.

The Old Lady in My Head

I shared this story at the National Grantmakers in Aging Conference, during a luncheon at the Pfister Hotel featuring Dr. George E. Vaillant, author of Aging Well. A Consortium Board member asked me to repeat it for this blog.

Over a year ago, I participated in a guided imagery exercise that was a tour of people and events I had known at different stages in my 35 years of life. I knew nothing about guided imagery before this experience, and you are free to think that it's a bit flaky. It can be. But read on.

Before it was over, I wound up face-to-face with a woman I didn’t know. She was 105 years old, hunched over a cane, and smiling. She seemed to have a very generous spirit, to be the kind who loves without thought of return.

She offered me a cup of tea. There were other parts of this guided tour that were not so pleasant, but the presence of the old woman was a comfort. I felt safe with her, safe from judgment. She offered me a gift to guide my way home. It was a candle.

At that point, the woman leading the guiding imagery exercise made an announcement to our group. She said "The woman you have just met is you."

Me? You must be mistaken. I felt overwhelmed by the idea at first, and then had the good sense to ask my 105-year-old self what she knew.

Her message was simple. She said: “Give up the worry. It all turns out alright.”

Much has been said in popular culture, literature and lore about the benefits of staying "young at heart," of aging well by basically refusing to age. But being young at heart is a mixed bag. Most of us during our youth are so busy trying to earn the respect and love of others, or looking for them to earn it from us, that we waste years on anxiety and hustle and judgment. Have I accomplished enough yet? Have you?

Instead, I think it might be helpful to embrace what it means to be "old at heart." For me, this means being fearless because you have moved past the need to prove your worth. To love completely, because today is all you have and because that’s what life is really all about. And to keep giving, whatever little thing you have to offer the world.

That’s just my own little perspective. I am eager to invite yours, whatever age you are.

If you could close your eyes and come face to face with yourself at 105 years old, what would this person have to say about your life?

What can we learn by connecting with the part of us that is "old at heart"?