A place to live—and a little bit of grace

From Sarah Polley’s screenplay Away from Her:

Grant and Fiona are a comfortable, long-married couple who live in an old rambling house by a lake in Ontario. When Fiona’s memory begins to slip—“I seem to be disappearing bit by bit,” she says—they face a difficult decision.

(Fiona) picks up some forms from the dining room table.

Fiona What are these, Grant?

Grant They’re the. . . the forms to fill out. If you decide to go to Meadowlake

She looks frustrated.

Fiona But that is exactly what I have decided. You were to go and sign these forms. And leave them there.
. . .
Grant I don’t think I like the place.

Fiona I don’t think we should be looking for something we like here, Grant. I don’t think we’ll ever find that. I think all we can aspire to in this situation is a little bit of grace.

It seems like yesterday that I wrote about moving my mother into assisted living. But so much happened in the last week and a half. The Friday before the move, she became listless and delusional and was admitted to the hospital. A week later, after treating an infection and medication toxicity, straightening out her electrolytes, and getting the congestive heart failure under control, the hospitalist sent her off to a skilled nursing facility.

Like Grant, I don’t think I like the place. Not because there’s anything wrong with it: there isn’t. Because it doesn’t suit my image of how and where Mom should live.

But as Fiona said, in this situation, we’re aspiring to a little bit of grace. Here, she will be safer, and with grace, recover enough strength and independence to go to the original assisted living destination. If not, we’ll be grateful for the grace and care provided by a good skilled nursing facility.

Of course, we all want to be part of creating living and care situations people will like. I’m especially excited about a new event the Milwaukee Aging Consortium will present Friday, April 4, with the cooperation of LISC (Local Initiative Support Company) and hosted by Direct Supply. Linking Housing & Service Solutions for Bottom Line and Best Practice is a day-long seminar on bringing services to aging residents in Milwaukee area congregate living.

This seminar includes breakout sessions to stimulate working partnerships. Housing operators, developers and architects, home health and medical providers, and others won’t want to miss this! For more information and to learn about sponsorship opportunities, contact Tracy Straub, 414-289-0890.

More about this later!