Beauty matters

With more than half of the “aging alerts” that come across my desk dealing with physical appearance, it doesn’t seem right to overlook the important topic of beauty and aging.

Nearly everyone agrees that Boomers are driving the exploding beauty business. We were the generation that would never grow old, that would just “fix” whatever we didn't like, including aging. By 2001, more than half of all beauty products claimed to have anti-aging properties. Plastic surgery and injections promising rejuvenation have become ubiquitous, and eating disorders in older women are growing.

Care in appearance is part of feeling good. I knew that my mother, who’s now in a nursing home for rehabilitation, was doing better when she asked my daughter to pluck her eyebrows and complained that I’d brought her the wrong lipstick.

But those who are battling against aging instead of exploring a new territory of a different kind of beauty are sure to encounter despair.

A new website, Beauty Paradox, promises some interesting guidance for women who are growing older. Its authors, Vivian Diller, PhD, and Jill Muir-Kukenick, PhD, are both psychotherapists—and former models. They’ve written a book by the same name in which they propose to offer a “psychological map through which a woman can explore the role beauty plays in her life as she ages.”

The goal is to redefine beauty on our own terms, not the media’s.

There’s not much on the site yet, but what’s there is promising. The first entry is a keeper. If you pass these thoughts along to others, please remember to credit the authors for them!

10 Beauty Thoughts to Hold onto as Aging Takes Hold of Your Beauty,
by Vivian Diller and Jill Muir-Kukenick.

1. Beauty is not just a physical experience, but a psychological one as well. Although we can't stop the physical changes of aging, we can effect change psychologically.
   
2. While aging is unconquerable, inevitable and irreversible, self-image is not. Self-image can be fluid and timeless.
3. Aging is not a battle of time, but with one’s image of oneself.
4. Chronological age does note have to define you. You can define yourself at your chronological age.
5. Put your beauty in your identity, not your identity in your beauty.
6. Take an honest look at who you are, not what you look like.
7. Rob beauty of its power over you. Take back that power and you will feel more beautiful.
8. Learn about the psychological forces of beauty you can’t see and those you can’t hide from.
9. Fear of aging interferes with aging attractively. Fear is unattractive. Aging confidently is not.
10. Beauty matters to all women, but to women who age beautifully, beauty matters not too much nor too little.